Yeah, I know. Cripes, Carrie, where ya been? You’re thinking. Or words to that effect.
I wonder the same thing myself.
First, to be totally honest, I haven’t buried myself in a garret or cave and typed out seven great manuscripts in the past six months.
I haven’t been on a cruise, haven’t been on sabbatical.
What I have been, is useless.
Oy, that hurts to say.
One day, waaaaaay back in March, I woke up with a crick in my back. No biggie, I thought, it’ll go away. A few days later, I walked with a limp, dragging a foot. A few more days and I barely walked. Honest. Limped with one leg, dragged the other. Walk this way, master….
This is SO not a good thing when you’re a waitress. I generally walk 15K to 20K plus steps a day. Easily. That’s before I added in my workout for the day.
I can give you the technical aspects of sciatic pain, the “I can’t sit” “I can’t sleep” “I can’t walk”. But until you’ve been buried under it, you don’t understand. And boy, was I buried. Constant pain was my companion. I powered through my shifts at work, doing what I do, in whatever fashion I could do it. When I got home from work, I covered myself in heating packs, ice packs and Jack Daniels.
Do I want your pity? Not on your life. =) I am, as I’ve told many people, a tough cookie. Work comes first, pain came second. Some days, it was a losing battle.
Months of exercises, stretches and appointments later, I’m finally feeling….pretty good. Not 100% as other problems linger. Walking up a flight of stairs is a challenge. Bending down to pick something up is a challenge. Letting go of my bottle of Jack Daniels ….well…..just back away. And slowly.
But, in the words of my new favorite show “How I met your Mother” – Challenge Accepted.
I may not yet be able to sit for 3-4 hours at a time and work on a manuscript. I may not be able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Yet. I may not even be able to walk up a flight of stairs without looking like my Grandma Starkenburg.
But. I’m working on it.
I’m building my strength, doing 20-40 min cardio every morning. Lifting weights twice a week. Doing rehab exercises. Riding a bike. Stretching my muscles, tightening my core. No guts, no glory.
Let me tell you and tell you true. I’m no quitter. Never have been, never will be.
I’m fighting back, in the battle of my life. I’m not bending, I’m not giving. If you want to see what I’m made of, it’s blood, sweat and tears. It’s goal and motivation. It’s me against pain. Take that, sciatica. I’m SO over you. Knee pain? pfft. I laugh in your face. Weak ankles? Come meet my green stretchy band and weep in agony.
I’ve lost 10+ pounds, and I’m out there kicking ass. I’m gonna win. Screw you sciatica, you’ve just met Carrie Spencer, and I’m not taking it anymore.