Some time ago, I mentioned my fear of driving over bridges. Um yeah, that hasn’t changed so much. Mostly because I’m not near any bridges except a small twelve footer near my house that doesn’t even raise a hair on my head to cross.

I can almost pinpoint when that particular fear started. Driving over an extremely high bridge with the sunlight dancing through the pretty concrete struts. It was very pretty for a few seconds, then the sunlight turned into a strobe light effect. I blinked, trying to get my bearings. I put my hand over my eyes, closed one eye. But nothing worked. Dizzy, panicked, I slowed down to about 30 miles an hour, making for a slower strobe. When I finally reached the end of the bridge, I was in tears and refused to go back over.

Except the only way back to the motel was over the bridge.

I sucked it up and did it, and luckily the sun had set by then. But the damage was done.

But how many of our fears can we pinpoint just this tightly? Very few. Some revert back to our childhood, some our growing up years. Some are inbred – fears that are passed down from our parents or loved ones.

And our fears become stronger over the years. Whereas once, crossing a bridge that spanned the Mighty Missouri river was quite daunting, now crossing a bridge that covers a four-lane highway requires some mental pushing.

As we get older, we get more fears. Fear of slipping on the ice. Seriously? When I was twelve, I would have taken a running start at it and zipped along the sidewalk. I might end up with a bruise, but… big deal. What a rush! Now I do the penguin-walk. Arms carefully outspread, little penguin steps taking me to safety.

Am I being smart? Or am I being scared?

Once upon a time, I went bungee jumping. 13 stories in the air with nothing but a little rubberband holding me to the crane. Was I being stupid? Brave? Showing off in front of a cute guy?

=) I’ll admit, it was the latter of the three.

But, jump I did. Would I do it again today? Nope. Not on a bet.

Is that being smart? Or being scared?

There’s so many fears out there – spiders, snakes, heights – that we sometimes have to choose – are we giving in to fear because we really are afraid? Because – I mean it really COULD be a tarantula! – or is it something we need to conquer to get on with our lives.

I’ve decided it’s time, time for me to put some fears to rest. Take the bull by the horns, tame the lion, beat back fear. It’s time to slide on the ice occasionally, to finish writing the book and not yell tarantula every time I see a spider. Okay, so not so much that last one. But I am vowing to myself that it’s time.

Eep. =)

Carrie Spencer Author - Smart Ass Romance

I have no sense of style. I admit it free and clear. Others have informed me, sometimes gently, sometimes not, that I’m clueless when it comes to the latest fashions.

It’s all true.

At work I generally wear jeans, tennies and a t-shirt. At home, a variety of gawd-awful sweatpants and sweatshirts, most generally in non-coordinating colors.

But that doesn’t mean I can DREAM of being a fashion plate. I’d always thought if I’d had the money, if I’d had the slim, long legs, I too, would look like Cindy Crawford.

Snort.

Instead, I’m a little apple dumpling of a person. Short legs, big boobs. =) I know there’s lots of jokes to be made there, but trust me, I’ve heard them all. To such an extent I’ve become accustomed to a baggy t-shirt worn over jeans. It’s become my uniform, my size somewhat hidden. Or so I always like to think.

Believe it or not, however, I have become somewhat of a fashionista in the plus size world – at least according to Pinterest and Polyvore. At Polyvore, you can take snippets of fashion and put them together. A shirt from Penney’s, pants from Christian Dior, shoes from Zappo’s and make an entire outfit. Something you might even wear! I admit to having an absolute blast putting together outfits, and was entirely shocked when someone followed my board.

On Polyvore, I have 53 followers and over 5K views. I’m generally in the top ten views of the two groups I’m in. On Pinterest, my Plus Size board has 192 followers.

Yup, you read it right. Plus Size. Every outfit I design is made for a plus sized woman, including wide width shoes and wide calf boots. No size XS shirts are seen here. No size 2 jeans. If you’re a skinny minny, you might find the styles are awesome, but chances are – just like us plus size women have discovered in virtually every store we go into – you can’t find your size here.

Someday, when I overcome my fear of looking ridiculous, over-dressed or just plain chubby in something other than a man’s XL t-shirt and jeans, I might actually buy myself one of these outfits. I’ll get the credit card warmed up. =)

Someday.

In the meantime, take a look at this AWESOME video by Wendy (who has more fashion sense in her little finger than I do in my entire apple-dumpling body) from http://www.wendyslookbook.com on 25 ways to wear a scarf. Trust me, it’s not your average boring how to tie a scarf blah blah blah. It’s fun, fashionable and educational. =) You’ll love it.

What about you? Are you a fashion failure or a clothes horse??

Carrie Spencer Author - Smart Ass Romance

For years I’ve been intrigued by family history. Was I descended from Queen Victoria? What if I was secretly related to Elvis? Maybe one of my great great great uncles was D.B. Cooper and if I could only find the money….

I pumped my Grandma for information – who was her grandma, and grandpa, and uncle and …. She told me tons of great stories, including the fact that her grandfather had a twin, and they had married twins themselves. Cool, I thought. I’d also found out that her name wasn’t really Eula – it was Julie. Her grandpa couldn’t say Julie, so they renamed her Eula. I was hooked.

When my grandmother passed away, I found she’d kept a bunch of obituaries, newspaper clippings and birth certificates. Fascinated, I glommed on to as many of them as I could. Sure enough, there was her birth certificate with her real name. Aunts and uncles who’d changed their names over the years as they moved from Germany to the United States. Graduation certificates, marriage certificates and an old family bible. They were mine! all mine!! mwahahahaa…

Ahem.

So, I tracked back my history. Ancestry.com makes it easy. They offer hints, send you information on people who might be related to you, and let you access a virtual TON of information.

Now frankly, if you don’t care what nuts are in your family tree, this will drive you to drink and drink heavily. For me, it was an eye popper. Wanna hear the dirt? Of course you do…

One family member, who lived in Canada at the time of the Great Depression was apparently so incensed at a woman who had the audacity to wear a fur coat that she attacked her with a knife on Main Street. She ended up in the hoosegow, and later in a sanitarium for ladies.

My great-great grandparents had fifteen children.

My fourth great uncle had five wives.

My second great grandfather had three last names.

My great-great aunt founded a library that is still standing. She petitioned Andrew Carnegie to help build a library in her hometown, and he obliged. This may sound quite philanthropic of her, right? Wrong. It appears that while she was quite wealthy, and never married, that if you borrowed money from her and didn’t pay it back on time? She’d move in with you until you did. =)

When you trace back …and I mean waaaaaaaaaay back, the names become unpronounceable. Ytje. Sjoerd. Maaike. I have a friend who is Swedish who helps with some of the pronunciations, otherwise I just make up my own. Yitgee. Sherd. Makee. Close?

And when you go even further back, they switched names. Your father’s last name became your first name. Your mother’s maiden name became your last name sometimes, your first name sometimes, your middle name sometimes. And sometimes not. Makes searching a little – challenging.

If you had three or four boys, you could name them all the same name. One of my relatives had four sons all named Johan. Makes calling them in for supper easier. “Johan! Get thy rear in the cabin – now!”

One of my relatives who sailed from the Netherlands to the USA died on board ship and was buried at sea.

One of my relatives, a captain, resettled an entire village about 200 miles away when he disagreed with the way things were being run by the current mayor of the town. That man can hold a grudge.

Reading the date of birth and death – you finally realize how many children were lost in those days at a horribly young age. Sometimes entire families would have the same death date.

I have MANY MANY sets of twins in the family tree.

Looking up my ancestors has given me hours of enjoyment. When you find someone else who has researched the same limb of the tree you’re looking up? It’s like riding in NASCAR – zoom zoom zoom. Names and dates fall into place and stories come to life.

Even if they are kinda – nuts.

=)

carrie

Carrie Spencer Author - Smart Ass Romance

I’ve been looking long and hard at author branding the past year. Sometimes it seems very easy – go forth and tweet. Get a like me page on FB. Oh, and if you have time get Linked In, Triberr yourself and don’t forget Google Plus. And sometimes, it’s very difficult.

Oy.

Three years ago, I decided to become a writer. Literally out of the blue. I bought books, I took classes, I wrote horrifying drivel. In general, I did everything wrong. So what? you say, haven’t we all?

Absolutely.

But, the one thing I always KNEW was right, was the day I came up with smartassromance.com. I giggled and danced and well, made an ass out of myself. When I found the domain name wasn’t taken, I ran for it. Zoom! How could no one else have thought of such a thing?

I found the world’s cutest icon to go with it and even a fun font…

I decorated the ass for Christmas, Easter, Spring and other holidays. I collected pictures of various donkeys, mules and assorted asses and even bought a stuffed donkey so I could have my authorial picture taken with him.

There were a few rumblings when I took a branding class or two, but I stuck to my guns – mostly. I changed my name on twitter from my beloved smartassromance to carriecspencer. I changed my blog URL to carriecspencer.com. I was being forced to “grow up!” No fair!

I’ve already been through puberty – I didn’t want to do it again! But I did, kicking and screaming, pouting and sprouting a zit. Okay, I lied about the zit.

And you’re probably still thinking – so what?

Well, this past week I was told the name was offensive. I generally get “oh, that’s cute” or “that suits you to a T!” but it’s my first “I won’t buy any of your books – even if you manage to get one published – because no one likes a smartass.”

Well. That certainly told me.

I set the email aside, and waited for another day to deal with it, as this past two weeks I’ve had plenty to deal with. But it’s sitting there, waiting like a canker sore. I need to either acknowledge it’s there and address the contents, or throw it in the trash bin.

I’m not here to garner your sympathy and storm down the castle of People Who Don’t Like Smartasses like the mob chasing Frankenstein. Or was it Dracula? Definitely Young Frankenstein. Abby- Abby Normal. *snort* I’m just pointing out that sometimes marketing yourself in a way that people will like you is hard. Branding is hard. Answering all the tweets in my twitter stream is hard. =) Unless we’re discussing hotties and brownies. Then it’s a breeze.

Growing up is definitely hard. Growing as a writer – well, so far it’s been three years and I’m still working on it. Plotting is getting minimally easier, GMC – well, okay, we won’t discuss GMC. So yes, as a writing I’m growing. I’m tossing around the idea of changing my brand – and dealing with the growing pains that must accompany it, although I admit it’s still going to be another week or two before I really take a hard look at it. =)

So my big question is – not should I change my name, my brand, my ass – but how necessary do you feel the marketing of yourself depends on getting that tag line juuuust right? Is there leeway? Have you had to change yours?

Just thinking out loud….

=)

carrie

Carrie Spencer Author - Smart Ass Romance

Sometimes I need outlets for creativity. Then you should write more, Carrie! (I can hear those words in my head, even if you didn’t actually say them out loud)

So, I design.

Sometimes it’s stupid stuff. A t-shirt with a goofy saying. An origami dollar bill. A tower made out of cheese.

And other times, I actually make things worthwhile. Jewelry, book covers. A tower made out of cheese.

=)

So, here’s what I’ve been up to lately.

Lord Midnight A book cover for Donna Cummings	A website for a small town near here.	The outside sign for our restaurant.

Carrie Spencer Author - Smart Ass Romance