Winner of the Bulwer Lytton contest, encouraging people to write the worst opening line since, “It was a dark and stormy night.”

”For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.”
Molly Ringle
Seattle, WA