Posts Tagged ‘online classes’

ok, so last time I was here….eons ago wasn’ it? I whined and complained about taking five online classes at the same time. But seriously, I thought I could do it, and live life as a normal human being.

This is not so.

My hair needs coloring. Seriously. Like maybe twice through just to cover all the gray.

I have a twitch. It alternates from eye to eye, but it’s definitely a twitch. On the other hand, I seem to be getting better tips at the restaurant. Maybe I’ll keep it.

I generally receive 150+ emails a day. Note to self – go digest next time.

My chocolate addiction has morphed into chocolate enslavement.

It takes two Cadbury creme eggs every day. And I’m saying that like a heroin addict.

I haven’t written on my book in 2 weeks.

My socks haven’t matched since Groundhog Day.

My brain is moving at the speed of a snail in the Olympic Figure Skating coliseum.

Jack Daniels is my friend.

It wouldn’t be so bad, but three of the teachers are remarkable, demanding, challenging, awesome. They work my brain, they draw things out of there I didn’t know existed, and then they make me work with the stuff that pops out of it.

And I love it.

I’ve learned so much, that as my friend Kelsey says, I’ve grown new wrinkles in my brain.

And I’m still learning. And next month, I’ll be learning more.

Why’s that?

Why because I’ve signed up for five MORE online classes, that’s why!

Send the valium – please. And my hair colorist. She’s got a big job ahead of her.

carrie

What was I thinking? I’ll tell you. Obviously I wasn’t thinking!

This month I signed up for 5 online classes. Five. Cinco. Waytoomany. It seemed like a good plan, my other job is always slow this time of year, bring it on!

Unfortunately almost all five classes are run by superior instructors who demand a lot of information and homework from their students. Which is a good thing! Otherwise it’s just someone throwing information at you and hoping you’re listening.

And while I whine and moan and complain about the homework, let me just say there are people out there who shouldn’t be taking an online class. The woman who wrote to the entire class and said, sorry, I’m too busy to take this class right now….. Then why did you sign up sweetie? The teacher is here to teach those who want to learn..if you don’t want to learn, keep your email to yourself….or the one who said, gee it must be nice that none of you have to work as hard as I do, that’s why I’m behind in my homework. I personally hold down a full time job and have 3 companies of my own. But my homework is in on time.

But my favorite is people who argue with the instructor, as if they know better. One of my instructors has been published 54 times. And one lady in class actually told her she didn’t want to learn part of the lesson (on enneagrams) because she found them worthless. Published 54 times vs. unpublished. Let me think…..who would I rather listen to? Pissed off the instructor royal too. I don’t blame her.

Another instructor posted that we were to post no more information until she finished going through our first lesson. So what did people do? You got it, started posting lesson two, even though she hadn’t finished going through their first lesson. WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT TO UNDERSTAND? But I’ll be darned if people didn’t start throwing nasty comments left and right, and distracting the entire list with hundreds of emails with brilliant thoughts like “I think that too.” or “Oops, so I didn’t read that.”

Get a clue people. If you’re on a class list, you’re showing upwards of 100 people what an idiot you are every time you post on top of filling our email boxes with useless junk.

ok, done ranting, back to the regularly scheduled program. =)

So, I’m learning. And I’m doing about 10 hours worth of homework a week. And this week, yes this very one, is the one two of my instructors say is going to be THE WEEK. This week will make it or break it, this week will be the hardest one.

Yikes.

So it’s time for me to don my cape and tights, suck it up and get back to my homework…one of the classes is already over, so I’m down to just four.

Sounds like a walk in the park eh?

carrie

So, one day in April, shortly after my forty-seventh fortieth birthday, I decided I was going to be a romance writer. Over the years, I’ve heard tons of people (ok, mostly family…ok, mostly my mother) say I should be a writer. So, I decided that’s what I’m going to do. So I bought books. Read agents blogs and artists blogs. And bought books. Amazon loves me, this I know.

So, I wrote a book. 250+ pages of romance novel, in about 2 months. And then I started taking online classes. This is how Columbus must have felt when he sailed to the New World. Not so much wow, look at that huge land mass I’ve discovered – but HOLY SHIT!

So, in taking classes, I found out everything I did in my ms is ..well…wrong. I did head hopping, had no viable GMC, I was a pantser without a clue. I was proudly showing off my first chapter, and getting blasted back to the dirt. “What’s your heroines long term goal?” Say what? Umm..to have sex with the hero? Bzzzztttt! Wrong answer! “What’s your black moment?” Umm…when I first look in the mirror every morning? Bzzzttt!! Not only was I mistaken in how to write a novel, but I found that very few online class instructors have a sense of humor about such things as GMC’s.

So I learned. And I polished. And I turned my 250 page ms into a 17 page chapter. Huh. I have a blurb, I have a logline, I have a query – all for a book I no longer have written. Those other 223 pages? Gone with the wind. Oh, I might be able to salvage parts, but once I got technical with the story, turns out it’s weak. Flimsy. Unconflicted.

Crap.

So, with the help of instructors, classes, books and so on, I’ve now polished my first chapter. It’s beautiful. It has conflict, sexual eye contact, flowing hair.

But now, I have to move on to chapter TWO. It’s taken me technically 6 months to have a perfect chapter one…how on earth do I start chapter two? I no longer know where my story goes, who my characters are…I have to learn them all over again, re-invent their story and move on….to chapter two!

Does anyone have a chapter two class out there!???!

hellllpppp!

=)

carrie