I am not, I repeat, not going to whine on and on here about writer’s block.

I’m instead going to whine on and on about writer’s I don’t wanna.

I know, I know. Everyone says “with the holidays coming up, I just don’t have time!”

True enough.

But, I made the time for Nano, even while working 40+ hours a week and holding down two other small businesses I run.

So, what’s so different?

I’ll tell you. I just don’t wanna. Plain and simple, like a three year old being drug to the doctor for shots, I’ve dug my heels in and said I don’t wanna.

I want to write, I really do. But I’m rebelling because I want to write the way *I* want to write, not the way they want me to. Technically, it’s a 48 year old having a pity party.

If you want to be an author, there’s always going to be a critic, an editor, an agent, a person on the street who randomly says it’s good, but if you only fixed this part……if you only wrote this instead…if if if. And if you’re someone who desperately wants to be published you say, fine! I’ll change it!

Or, you have a pity party.

I can tell you the final straw came with subsequent editorial changes, a crit AND the demise of one of my precious kitties. Yes, it was hard knocks all the way around. Bad things, very bad things happened at work and in life in general. And this time, for once, it got me down and held me there.

Last night, I FORCED myself to write. Absolutely forced. It’s drivel. I struggled. I pouted. But I wrote over 800 words. And today I wrote more. And it was better. And this afternoon, I’ll write even more and the words will flow, and I’ll be back to my old self.

Pity Party is over. I don’t wanna is over.

It’s time to get back to work, one step at a time.

carrie