Posts Tagged ‘smartass romance’

Challenge Accepted. Screw you Sciatica – Meet Carrie Spencer.

Yeah, I know. Cripes, Carrie, where ya been? You’re thinking. Or words to that effect.

I wonder the same thing myself.

First, to be totally honest, I haven’t buried myself in a garret or cave and typed out seven great manuscripts in the past six months.


I haven’t been on a cruise, haven’t been on sabbatical.

What I have been, is useless.

Oy, that hurts to say.

One day, waaaaaay back in March, I woke up with a crick in my back. No biggie, I thought, it’ll go away. A few days later, I walked with a limp, dragging a foot. A few more days and I barely walked. Honest. Limped with one leg, dragged the other. Walk this way, master….

This is SO not a good thing when you’re a waitress. I generally walk 15K to 20K plus steps a day. Easily. That’s before I added in my workout for the day.

I can give you the technical aspects of sciatic pain, the “I can’t sit” “I can’t sleep” “I can’t walk”. But until you’ve been buried under it, you don’t understand. And boy, was I buried. Constant pain was my companion. I powered through my shifts at work, doing what I do, in whatever fashion I could do it. When I got home from work, I covered myself in heating packs, ice packs and Jack Daniels.

cookieDo I want your pity? Not on your life. =) I am, as I’ve told many people, a tough cookie. Work comes first, pain came second. Some days, it was a losing battle.

Months of exercises, stretches and appointments later, I’m finally feeling….pretty good. Not 100% as other problems linger. Walking up a flight of stairs is a challenge. Bending down to pick something up is a challenge. Letting go of my bottle of Jack Daniels ….well…..just back away. And slowly.

But, in the words of my new favorite show “How I met your Mother” – Challenge Accepted.

I may not yet be able to sit for 3-4 hours at a time and work on a manuscript. I may not be able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Yet. I may not even be able to walk up a flight of stairs without looking like my Grandma Starkenburg.

But. I’m working on it.

I’m building my strength, doing 20-40 min cardio every morning. Lifting weights twice a week. Doing rehab exercises. Riding a bike. Stretching my muscles, tightening my core. No guts, no glory.

Let me tell you and tell you true. I’m no quitter. Never have been, never will be.

boxing-glove-967348-mI’m fighting back, in the battle of my life. I’m not bending, I’m not giving. If you want to see what I’m made of, it’s blood, sweat and tears. It’s goal and motivation. It’s me against pain. Take that, sciatica. I’m SO over you. Knee pain? pfft. I laugh in your face. Weak ankles? Come meet my green stretchy band and weep in agony.

I’ve lost 10+ pounds, and I’m out there kicking ass. I’m gonna win. Screw you sciatica, you’ve just met Carrie Spencer, and I’m not taking it anymore.


Peace, Love, Chili Dogs and Adorable Cats – It’s Cheap Date Nite!

That's "Mr. Weenie" to you!

Creative Commons License Theresa Thompson via Compfight

Yay! It’s time for cheap date night again! But my camera is on the fritz – not that it was working that wonderfully before, but this time you’ll have to use your imagination – not a problem!

First up, we’re going for chili dogs. Easy peasy done in the microwave omg I can’t believe they’re done already chili dogs!

(yeah, it’s a long title but work with me here)

2 flour tortillas – the smaller ones
1 microwaveable container of Hormel chili
2 weenies
Cheddar cheese
Optional ingredients – onions, jalapenos

Heat the chili according to directions – generally it’s like one minute
While chili is cooking, sprinkle one of the tortillas with cheddar cheese and any other fixin’s you want, then roll the weenie up inside.
In a small microwaveable pan, pour in half the chili.
Place the rolled tortillas seam side down in the chili.
Top with remaining chili
Cover and microwave about 5 minutes, depending on how powerful your microwave is. (mine’s a weenie) (get it? hah!)

Sprinkle more cheddar cheese on top and serve. Kind of a weenie enchilada.

Smart Ass Romance - Bottums Up - Fun Drink RecipesNow what would possibly go with a glorified weenie? A Snakebite of course! (oh yeah, go ahead, make your own joke)

1 bottle hard cider (I like Woodchuck Granny Smith)
1 bottle beer (something simple, like Bud Light)

Okay, hang on…these instructions are pretty hard to follow.

Pour half the cider in one glass…the other half in the second glass.
Fill with half the beer in the first glass…the other half in the second glass.

Tada! Chili dogs and beer! Grab some potato chips and lets go on a picnic!

And in case you’re wondering why this post is so short? This are exactly the circumstances under which I wrote …..enjoy a little of Simon’s Cat – or in this case, Carrie’s Six Cats.

Escaping the Fashion Police – Confessions of a Plus Size Slob

I admit it. I’m plus sized.

I workout daily, I have a trainer, I lift weights. I do crunches every day, I walk 6-10 miles at work every day. But, I’m still plus sized. I’ve mostly accepted it.


Until recently. Maybe you’ve even heard comments like these –

Maybe a little makeup, dear. It’ll make your cheekbones pop and you’ll look thinner.

If you wore vertical stripes….

Black always makes you look thinner…


People always have wonderful advice. And there’s been studies (by really official people!) on how wearing the right fitting clothes makes you look wonderful. And it’s true…read this article from Grasping for Objectivity – you won’t believe what a nice fitting pair of jeans will do for your butt! I mean seriously? Go look. You’re in for a shock.

I admit my general wardrobe leaves a lot to be desired. Men’s XL t-shirts and jeans. Tennies. I’ll also admit when I’m at work, I sometimes literally RUN and need to have a certain style of clothing that I can wear that won’t drape in people’s spaghetti, will hide the strawberry daquiri stains and won’t show sweat. Those are my basic requirements.

But is it enough? Probably not.

To that end, I’ve been working with some outfits on polyvore. I even purchased some of these outfits. But, have you ever noticed things always look better on the model than on you? Yeah. Same here.

However, since my only creative energy for the past few months has been trying to design outfits for a plus size (and wide footed) woman, here’s what I’ve been working on – some casual outfits that might actually work not only for my body, but for my reluctant-to-be-fashionable brain.

A little Sexy, A little Orange - Plus Size

Is it Monday Already? Plus Size

Be You Tiful - Plus Size

Extra Casual Day in Mint - Plus Size

So like, nothing too out of line right? Still basically t-shirts and jeans. Personally I wouldn’t wear the flip flops, but hey, they matched the outfit! I’d still wear …you guessed it….tennies.

I’ve also brought the fashion up a notch – for when we dress up on the weekends, yet still not overtaxing my oh-my-god-it-has-sequins! phobia brain.

Plus Size Olive with a Splash of Rose

Black and White with a Super Cool Snail Bag - Plus Size

Why Yes, Plus Size Gals Can be Quite Sexy, Thank You

Plus Size Red and White Summer Outfit

Whew. Some of those shoes? Not happening. Oh, and I never carry a purse either. Never.

However, just in case you’re wondering what I wear around the house? =)

Just call me .... WONDERWOMAN!!! =)

Yeah, I might be plus sized but sometimes the fashion gene is just built in right? =)


Beans, Beans the Tropical Fruit, the More You Eat the More You — Cheap Date Night

When I was a kid, that was Grandpa’s favorite rhyme…

Beans, beans the tropical fruit
the more you eat the more you toot.

He’d recite it over and over and over. And over.

Along with the always favorite-

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Whereupon we, disguised as wild Indians, would race into Grandma’s house howling for ice cream. It’s a wonder she didn’t kill us all. And him!

However, since we’re discussing cheap date night AND beans all in the same breath, we’re going to steer away from the kind that might cause “issues”. IfyaknowwhatImean.

So first up, let’s fix supper.

Steak and Green Bean Salad

1 steak, cut against the grain in thin slices
Favorite types of lettuce
Green beans – fresh, frozen or canned
Shredded mozzarella
Your choice of other veggies to add

Marinate your steak in your favorite marinade. I use Italian dressing, tabasco and some garlic. Turn a few times.

Cook in either a pan or a grill til it’s as done as you like it. (Me? Burn it.)

Cook your green beans – canned takes 4 min in the microwave, fresh and frozen take a bit longer! (But taste better!)

While it’s all cooking arrange salad on a plate. Being an Ioweenie, I use lots of iceberg and toss in some spinach for dark leafy greens. Makes me feel all healthy. Add in your mozzarella and almonds. I add in tomatoes and green peppers as well. Give it a good tossing.

When your steak and beans are done, put the beans on the salad first, followed by the steak. Serve with your choice of dressing.


And I bet you’re thinking – what kind of drink can she come up with to go with this deeeeelicious salad? Stand back folks, and I’ll show you.

Smart Ass Romance - Bottums Up - Fun Drink RecipesWith a hearty steak salad, you’re going to want a hearty beer to go with it. Dark red wine works too, but for fun, let’s try a basic Michelada. There’s tons of varieties of Michelada’s, this one here is pretty basic. But ohhhh soooo gooood.

1 bottle Corona
1 shot tequila
Kosher salt

Rim your glass with the cut edge of a lime, then dip in the salt. Add in some ice cubes and squeeze the lime over the top of them. Pour in one shot of tequila. Pour your beer over the top, adding a lime garnish if you’re so inspired.

Bottom’s up!

Now for the movie – snuggle up, take a sip and in honor of the humble bean and the London Olympics let’s watch some…..Mr. Bean! Yay!

ps, I hope you saw this the first time it ran…the Olympic Committee has removed the video. Darnit. It was pretty cool.

Cake Batter Rice Krispie Treats – Carrie vs Pinterest

I’ve been planning these Rice Krispie treats for weeks. I bought the throw-away pans, rice krispies and marshmallows all in separate trips to the store. The cake batter and sprinkles on another trip.

Why the secrecy?

I didn’t want anyone putting together what I was making! Trust me, when you’re friends with the cashiers at the store? They ask. Since I’ve been regaling them with stories of my latest workouts and sore sore sore muscles, if they knew I were making Rice Krispie treats? Oh, the scorn.

So – here we go. I’ve found several versions of this on Pinterest, but here’s my take on it.

Assemble the ingredients.

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Treats

1 box Rice Krispies
3 Tbsp butter (not pictured – the cats LOVE butter!)
1 pkg mini marshmallows
1/3 c yellow cake mix – dry


So, I tossed the butter in the pan, and melted it.

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Treats

Turns out I had the heat on a little high, and actually carmelized the stuff, so I tossed it out and remelted. ON LOW HEAT. sigh

Next I added in the bag of marshmallows and began the stirring process.

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Treats

Everyone knows this is when things get a little hairy. You can’t take a bathroom break, you certainly can’t go check your email! Stay put, and watch and stir.

Little by little, I added in the cake batter. At this point, the batter is fairly unattractively colored. Stick with it, it’s going to get better!

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Treats

Now comes the adding of the Rice Krispies and the Snap Crackle Pop. Listen….just listen……=) Doesn’t it just make you smile? Admit it, you singed the little song too.

Snap, Crackle Pop! Rice Krispies!

Ok, now quit your singing and get to stirring. Focus! Oh, and don’t forget to turn off the heat!

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Bars

Now we get to add the sprinkles. Yay! It says in the recipe to add 2-3 Tbsp, but I’ve never been one to follow modern conventions. Go ahead and add 5. Maybe even 6. Go crazy.

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Bars

Turn your batter out into a buttered pan. Grab the stick of butter, smear it all over your hands, and pat the Krispies in nice and tight. Add more sprinkles on top, pat them down, and let the whole thing cool.

Rice Krispie Cake Batter Bars

Do they taste different from regular Rice Krispie bars? Umm..not so much. I mean there’s a slight flavor of cake batter there, or maybe it’s the abundance of sprinkles that alters the taste. Next time I’ll double the amount of cake mix, maybe add a splash of vanilla or almond. Overall rating? I’ll give it a 7.5.

Maybe I’ll bring a few of these to my trainer tomorrow. She might forget to make me do tricep curls! =)

Just for a little extra fun – here’s a Rice Krispies commercial from 1939. Enjoy!


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