Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Some months ago, I challenged myself to come up with a blog. That was the easy part. Coming up with the name of the blog – that took…ok, that was pretty easy too. Finding the graphic! now that took….

ok, so technically, I drempt (not a real word, I know I know, stick with the story here) the entire thing up in less than 15 minutes and had it ready to roll, hot off the presses in about a day – tops.

Voila, instant blog.

But lately, I’ve noticed my little corner of the world is missing something. A tagline.

I’ve read other blogs and they always have something cute, or daring or….at the very least interesting.

“Escape to the past with a romantic adventure…” is Terry Blaine’s tagline.

“Real Women. Real Life.” Vicki Taylor

“Passion and adventure worth fighting for.” C.C. Wiley

So, of course, I have to have one.

So here’s a few…

I put the ass in romance.
Asses are my specialty.
Because everyone likes a little ass.
Ass ‘n Sass
Happiness is being a smart ass.
Real Romance. Real Asses.
That’s Ms. Smart Ass to you.
Romance funny side up.
Love, laughter and snark.
Romance by the Snarkmeister
Smart Asses need love too
Smart Asses Unite!
Sex, funny side up.
Love laughter and lunacy.

Those are just a few that popped into my head….hmm…might need a little more thinking here!

carrie

So, I bought a new book.

Big deal right? Go ahead and say it, I know you want to.

But this is a special book. It’s about line editing.

What’s line editing? hellifiknow, but that’s why I bought the book! Pay attention, girlfriend.

So anywho…this book is about the correct lining up of your sentences, so you don’t end up with those dangling participles or predicates in the wrong place.

I can’t read it. Seriously, it puts me to sleep within 5 minutes.

I’m going to recommend a copy to everyone over at Insomniacs Anonymous. If you can get past page 3, you are a professional insomniac, and there is no cure.

My problem with sentences started in seventh grade, with my English teacher, Mrs. Carver. She hated my guts. The feeling was mutual. She’s explain over and over and over again about adverbs, pronouns, subjects etc. Then she’d draw line graphs on the board demonstrating why you HAD to have a predicate in your sentence, why you CAN’T dangle anything off the end, and God FORBID you should put an extra comma where it didn’t belong.

Bored. Me. To. Tears.

But now, I’m starting a writing career. I should know about these things right? I should care whether my adverb is preceded by the correct pronoun or not.

Well I don’t.

So there.

phllllbbbttt.

I’ve tried for over 2 weeks now to not only read, but understand this book. My eyes swim with the extra small spelling, words dance like mutant spots in front of my eyes, my attention jumps to important things like belly button lint and wondering if I can touch my tongue to my nose. (yes, I can)

I’ve shortened my reading time down to just one paragraph. If I can make it through, and comprehend, that one paragraph, I get to do something fun! Like read a real book!

No can do.

My next plan is to get the book on CD, slip on my headphones and zone out for the night.

Learning English through osmosis.

It’s the only way to go.

carrie

So, one day in April, shortly after my forty-seventh fortieth birthday, I decided I was going to be a romance writer. Over the years, I’ve heard tons of people (ok, mostly family…ok, mostly my mother) say I should be a writer. So, I decided that’s what I’m going to do. So I bought books. Read agents blogs and artists blogs. And bought books. Amazon loves me, this I know.

So, I wrote a book. 250+ pages of romance novel, in about 2 months. And then I started taking online classes. This is how Columbus must have felt when he sailed to the New World. Not so much wow, look at that huge land mass I’ve discovered – but HOLY SHIT!

So, in taking classes, I found out everything I did in my ms is ..well…wrong. I did head hopping, had no viable GMC, I was a pantser without a clue. I was proudly showing off my first chapter, and getting blasted back to the dirt. “What’s your heroines long term goal?” Say what? Umm..to have sex with the hero? Bzzzztttt! Wrong answer! “What’s your black moment?” Umm…when I first look in the mirror every morning? Bzzzttt!! Not only was I mistaken in how to write a novel, but I found that very few online class instructors have a sense of humor about such things as GMC’s.

So I learned. And I polished. And I turned my 250 page ms into a 17 page chapter. Huh. I have a blurb, I have a logline, I have a query – all for a book I no longer have written. Those other 223 pages? Gone with the wind. Oh, I might be able to salvage parts, but once I got technical with the story, turns out it’s weak. Flimsy. Unconflicted.

Crap.

So, with the help of instructors, classes, books and so on, I’ve now polished my first chapter. It’s beautiful. It has conflict, sexual eye contact, flowing hair.

But now, I have to move on to chapter TWO. It’s taken me technically 6 months to have a perfect chapter one…how on earth do I start chapter two? I no longer know where my story goes, who my characters are…I have to learn them all over again, re-invent their story and move on….to chapter two!

Does anyone have a chapter two class out there!???!

hellllpppp!

=)

carrie