Line Editing

So, I bought a new book.

Big deal right? Go ahead and say it, I know you want to.

But this is a special book. It’s about line editing.

What’s line editing? hellifiknow, but that’s why I bought the book! Pay attention, girlfriend.

So anywho…this book is about the correct lining up of your sentences, so you don’t end up with those dangling participles or predicates in the wrong place.

I can’t read it. Seriously, it puts me to sleep within 5 minutes.

I’m going to recommend a copy to everyone over at Insomniacs Anonymous. If you can get past page 3, you are a professional insomniac, and there is no cure.

My problem with sentences started in seventh grade, with my English teacher, Mrs. Carver. She hated my guts. The feeling was mutual. She’s explain over and over and over again about adverbs, pronouns, subjects etc. Then she’d draw line graphs on the board demonstrating why you HAD to have a predicate in your sentence, why you CAN’T dangle anything off the end, and God FORBID you should put an extra comma where it didn’t belong.

Bored. Me. To. Tears.

But now, I’m starting a writing career. I should know about these things right? I should care whether my adverb is preceded by the correct pronoun or not.

Well I don’t.

So there.

phllllbbbttt.

I’ve tried for over 2 weeks now to not only read, but understand this book. My eyes swim with the extra small spelling, words dance like mutant spots in front of my eyes, my attention jumps to important things like belly button lint and wondering if I can touch my tongue to my nose. (yes, I can)

I’ve shortened my reading time down to just one paragraph. If I can make it through, and comprehend, that one paragraph, I get to do something fun! Like read a real book!

No can do.

My next plan is to get the book on CD, slip on my headphones and zone out for the night.

Learning English through osmosis.

It’s the only way to go.

carrie

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